Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Letting Go

It was meant to be forever and then one day out of the blue he suddenly pulls the rug out from under my feet. He no longer wanted me or our life together. He had found someone else that made him happier, he was moving on and life as I knew it was over. Depression hovered over me like a heavy cloud, my self worth shattered into tiny pieces, and life, it become my enemy.
The circumstances left me reeling. The betrayal, the angry, the grief was dragging me under. I was walking around unconscious during the days, I would just about do enough to get the children to school and feed them, all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed but then bed time would come and I wouldn't be able to sleep. I've cried my heart out, cried some more, I've screamed. I was a complete mess, I just couldn't see a way out of this deep dark hole I had fallen in to, it was awful, I was awful, then I did the most unimaginable thing, that day and the next few days are a blur to me.
Since then I not only got through Christmas, the children and I had a wonderful Christmas, we made some new tradition and kept some old ones.

I was really looking forward to seeing out the old year and celebrating the arrival of the new one.
 The monkeys stayed up with me to see the New Year in, we celebrated with a mocktail.

My Monkeys (little guy was hot he'd been dancing around)

As hard as it is I know it's over and I'm working on accepting it, I'm through the worse part now, the break up, the separation, the turmoil, of course it's still hard but I'm having more good day.

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